Lascivious.Beautiful-Tragedy.org

Lately I dunno been feelin kinda weird. thinking a lot. I hate thinking, everything goes through my mind constantly and it never gets off of my mind. I hate this feeling it just comes over me like this blanket and its so painful and it kills me every time. Then I get these thoughts again, unhealthy thoughts. I feel like I need to scream and let everything out but nothing comes out.

I laugh and smile with my friends and I try to be happy. I try to keep things on the positive side, but inside I feel like I’m being tortured… lol gotta love thoughts and feelings..

Why is it that no matter how much you tell yourself everything will be alright, a miniscule piece of you is beyond hell bent on persuading your conciousness that it won’t? Maybe that was an awful way to put it. Lets try that again. Ahem. Why is it that you can have your mind set on optimism, the the black spot on your heart seems to flip the switch to pessimism? Why does that one awful little speck take it over?

You know, like a virus to a host. Something that isn’t even alive can destroy life with ease.

Why is it easier to hurt than to heal? To hate than to love?

Now you’re thinking “god this shit is so cliche. I’ve heard this same line of garbage a million times”

But to that I say “All original thought is old original thought recyled.”

You can’t create or destroy matter, so in theory you can’t create nor destroy ideas.

Stubborness could kill you… literally. Once we open our minds, we open up possibilities.

I hope I never forget this;
“A human being is a part of a whole, called by us ‘universe’, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.” - Albert Einstein

I don’t seek emotional bonds with people, because I’ve developed what everyone should… a deep connection with myself. I can motivate myself, inspire myself, encourage myself, be there for myself - all by really introspecting and gaining a further understanding of myself - yet I yearn for a deep understanding with others.

Communication is a beautiful thing; completely tuning in to another’s mind - feelings and thoughts… being understood in return. So many things suddenly become so clear. Being so vulnerable never felt so good, stepping out of your element and being exposed to foreign territory… Just EXPANDING your mind.

Point black - i can honestly say i’ve learned more threw people then any school could possibly teach me.

BSeing obstinate can be a great quality - But we must learn not to be so consumed with self-righteousness that we forget we possibly COULD BE WRONG. It could be life threatening… I don’t want to get into details about how because I just don’t feel like sharing a friends personal business. but that’s that.

Oh and I’m suppose to slip this in somewhere … My Friend Jamee is off the Hizzle for Sizzle.

“FUCK CNN! Our media is gonna chose another president for us.. and all you dumb fucks are just sitting there nodding your heads to everything they say.

RON PAUL kept getting cut off, AGAIN.. was there as many questions directed towards him as there was to McCain and Romney?! i think not. Oh and i’m about to FLIP out if another person says “I’M NOT VOTING FOR RON PAUL, HE’S A REPUBLICAN.” YEAH HE’S ALSO THE ONLY MAN WHO ACTUALLY STANDS FOR LIBERTY AND THE ACTUAL CONSTITUTION.

Have you people forgot what the term FREE means? Like ANY of you fucking idiots even give a shit.. too concerned with everything the media WANTS you to be concerned with. so you can stay sheltered in your ignorant closed little mind and never give a shit to go against anything these people want you to believe.

GOD FORBID GIVING A SHIT ABOUT THE COUNTRY WE LIVE IN THAT’S GOING TO CONTROL HOW YOU GET TO LIVE, HOW YOUR CHILDREN WILL GET TO LIVE AND HOW YOUR GRAND CHILDREN WILL GET TO LIVE.

Nahh, let’s just stay concerned with SHOPPING, PARTIES AND SEX”

The News Through the Eye of a Resident of Cameron Apartments building 10:
Despite what most news crews reported, the fire started prior to 11:00 and Fire fighters responded closer to 11:20. I was not woken by an AT&T repairman, but a Lady from Summit Shopping Center Security. Many thanks to her, and her efforts.
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Alright, So I got a massive wake up this morning… Alarms were ringing, and people yelling. I opened the Door and it was smokey out… A lady yelled at me “Fire.” So I ran to Sam, told her she needed to get out, and then went and whoke up roommates friend (Landon.) I ran out the back door, and the left side of the apartment was on fire…

This fucking song is stuck in my head!
And this chick is nappy as fuck!!

First off, I can’t believe I have turned to the internet for advice or help on figuring out girls… Why are we not born with a sixth sense on how to figure out the opposite sex?

While searching into the 100,000th result on google.com , I came across these pages:
1. How to Tell if a Guy Likes You: Does He Like You? Why are Guys So Hard to Read? - Yeah I know it says ‘guy,’ but couldn’t the advice be reversed to figure out if a girl likes you?
2. How to tell if a Girl likes you!!!

From those articles, I took the most similar advice “without some push and feedback from the female, it is unlikely anything beyond a friendly relationship would come into existence.” So I went ahead and just asked her. I could have done it in person… but who knows when that chance would be, and I’m curious now. My biggest worry is she is just going to freak and run… Although if she does, then I guess she didn’t like me.

Waiting for a response…

I’m the worse when it comes to reading how a girl feels at first. Is she interested or not? I can never tell. And I don’t want to seem like a pushy asshole and risk pushing her away, so I just sit back and hope things work. Should I put my self out there, expect rejection, to see if she is interested? But what if she is interested and I’m expecting to much to soon? God Damn I hate this feeling of not know what’s going on. Why can’t girls be clear on how they feel. I know some girls have just as much trouble reading guys, but Damn, I’m not that difficult to read. At least I don’t think so… Maybe because it’s me.

I tried to google why women are so hard to read… not a lot of articles on it. Maybe because no one can figure it out…

I did read this article, thought it was pretty interesting Clueless Guys Can’t Read Women

Looks like crap outside; dark clouds and raining on occasion.

Aside from the weather, The day was good. Went to the Zoo with Brittney. She’s a pretty far out chick, fur sure. It was a good time. Walked around, talked a bit… Not as much as I would have liked, but how much can you really talk about at the Zoo. Not a whole lot of conversation starters there… Maybe there will be a chance to go do something that involves a little more conversation. She’s really cool, and seems interesting, would like to find out more about her.

While at the Zoo, this brave little monkey decided to wipe out it penis… Wonder who turned the monkey on?